I must admit, expressing myself can sometimes be a bit challenging and even overwhelmingly difficult at times, but I'm genuinely willing to give it a real try, especially since you've shown such great interest in hearing my thoughts and unique perspective! Your constant encouragement truly makes me feel more inspired to open up and share my innermost feelings and ideas with you, which I truly value.

I have been working as Merchant Navy Officer (including my Apprenticeship) since 1988 at the age of 19… I had a little incident in 1989 but I brushed away and took substantial Physiotherapy to get up get going. I didn’t know nor expected that that injury would bring me this nearly three decades later.

I was having problems to my spine now and then but with the medication & physio I was managing until 2008, when I had to hang my coat and retired when I was nearly 40…

I couldn’t just sit on my trusty wheelchair and doing nothing, so I started working voluntarily with various Charities for Disabled people.

From 2008, my marriage life came to an end, but we decided that we should wait until our girls get to High School, we won’t take that step. In 2015, that dreading moment came, and we decided to go apart.

I reached out to my friends, and one of who is now my wife. My health was slowly deteriorated, and I was struggling to manage without help. I complained to my GP that I was losing strength to my grips and the pain on my Spine was getting worse.

As I was living my own and living with fear what might happen in case my Spine totally gives away, my Wife (now) & I decided to get married in the End of 2017… We couldn’t get married online by video conferencing because I am not working and registered disabled, which would class as marriage of convenience (as per Advice from Home Office, UK). Consequently, I decided to fly out in November 2017 to Bangladesh and we both agreed to get married on arrival at my sisters in Dhaka.

Just before fortnight I was about to go to Bangladesh, my GP wanted to see me urgently. When I went to see him a week before (earliest appointment) my flight, I was told to postpone my travel as they want to do more tests. I have been complaining to my GP & Consultants about my health since I was advised by one of the Associate Professor (at that time as he is now Professor) in LabAid, Dhaka, BD, in 2009-10. All they did was to operate on Carpal Tunnel (which, I was told in 2017-18 that wasn’t necessary nor the remedy, because I got problem on my Spine NOT wrist). My GP told me not to go anywhere until I hear from them by the 6th November 2017. As I didn’t hear anything from neither from my GP or Hospital, I flew out anyway, on 7th Nov’ 2017 to BD.

On arrival (8th November 2017), we got married as planned. About a week later I went to see the same Orthopaedic, in LabAid with my MRI report from UK. First thing he asked what treatment I received since his diagnosis & Advice? I told him exactly what have had done, he literally threw the report on the other side of the table. I explained him what the problem was or what was happening at time same as I told my GP. He prescribed me the same medicines (but stronger doses) he prescribed back in 2009, alongside some of my medication here in UK. He told me that if my health any worsens see him ASAP. Three days later my wife & I was going back home in the evening, the Taxi driver didn’t slow down enough over a pothole or a speedbump (can’t remember). The result was inevitable. I was having problem and involuntary spasm prior and since I arrived Dhaka. When we get back and I was trying to get off the car, I realised I lost strength to my right side & finding it very difficult taking step with my right leg.

My wife Moni had to feed me as well as helping me with shower & other daily needs, as I couldn’t do anything with my right arm much. Gradually I was getting worse and had to call next door neighbour in the middle of the night to move me up to bed as I was having serious spasm that caused me slip down the bed. We decided to go back to LabAid again. Once we arrived & off the car, we had to cross the road to enter in the hospital. As soon as we crossed & I was getting on the curve I totally lost the control my right side. Doctor advised me to get back UK. He emphasised that he could operate on my Spine in BD, but I wouldn’t get there any after care that I would have get in UK.

On 6th December 2017 I flew back to UK in Manchester. On 7th early morning I was barely do anything with my right side. I was admitted to Manchester Royals but due to my involuntary spasm they couldn’t do anything but giving me high doses of painkillers overnight before they transferred me to Salford Royals on 8th morning around 7am. They done some tests (MRI/X-Ray, etc.) and took me to observation room in the evening. Once again, they took me to do further test (CT Scan) and to confirm that there were two broken vertebrae & those broken pieces (x4) were suffocating my Spinal Cord. That’s why I was losing my strength one-by-one limbs & those scary spasms. They operated me later that night but by that time I was paralysed neck down. The exact word by the Surgeon was “your prognosis is worse than we diagnose”.

I was in ICU nearly a week before they transferred to HDCU for another week. Then I was transferred to a side room in the ward. While I was in ICU/HDCU, they found that some part of my lungs collapsed on the top of everything. Therefore, I was having intensive physio to get my breathing in control. I was neck down paralysed for well over two weeks since my ops. Nearly coming up New Year, I was getting some movement back to my toes & hands. My left side started to respond in first week of January 2018. By second week I was transferred to Acute Neurological Rehab until I get a placement at Sheffield Northern General, for Spinal Injury Rehabilitation. Last few days at Salford Royals with the help from their Physiotherapist & Occupational Therapists I started to walk using Zimmer frame.

I then transferred to Royal Princess Ann’s Unit, Sheffield Northern General to start my rehabilitation. They thought I was treated at a hospital in Pakistan prior to admit in Salford Royal… I was kept Quarantine for a week before they started my rehabilitation. Two weeks later they decided to discharge me so I can get home. The Consultant told me that people who goes through the ops they have done on neck, those people take at least six months before they can sit up. In my case, I was walking (part of my Physio), in 6weeks using Zimmer frame. As I was managing to move around either on Wheelchair or Crutches my own within my room or to/from Physiotherapy room, they had to discharge me with caution that I cannot be left alone at home.

I stayed at my cousin in Manchester for another couple of weeks or three to get used to with the general living as by then I been in Hospital nearly three months. My cousin drove me back to Lowestoft at my Bungalow. Once he left the very next day I finally hit with the reality and was struggling. I end up with PTSD & became very depressed as well frustrated. I was feeling that I couldn’t breath and hiding myself at home. My Councillor from Mental Hospital introduced me with a group encouraging people to photography.

I couldn’t just sit around and doing nothing, so I started mending my old website. At the same time I started voluntary work as an Advisor at our local Citizens Advice Bureau Treasure for a Disabled people Gt. Yarmouth & Lowestoft REMAP & Vice-chair for another Disable related organisation Lowestoft Shopmobility And finally not to forget my YouTube Channel.

I need & am getting a lot of help for my Channel though! So, I’m sure you can see how important it is for me to grow my YouTube Channel, so I can do something for me and perhaps will help me to make something out of it for long run as well to help me to recover from depression…

Thank you 📷 for listening to my long winding story… I appreciated for your help but if you want to know anything more feel free to leave your advice and comment in my website’s “Contact Me” section. Don’t forget to Subscribe to my website as well as to register on My Blog too…